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Jeremys Prophecy Dot Com

This is what they said in 2001 . . .

I'm glad to see that this site has been such a mainstay for so long. More power to ya.
Robert Aulet <flintbox@msn.com>
New York, New York USA - Saturday, December 15, 2001 at 11:08:37 (EST)

i'm pretty amazed with this website and i think the book is really good. i'd like to find other people to talk with who can relate to the book and the website. jenn
Jennifer <jennkat22@yahoo.com>
Carson City, CA USA - Friday, December 14, 2001 at 18:47:35 (EST)

As you all read this marvelous book i found out about it just a few days ago i suffer from a Manic Depressive Disorder too..well pieces of my life die everyday but ive seen myself become stronger each and everyday cuz i found my soulmate and some to love me for who iam and not be judged i can relate to this book ive been thru the worst things i never thought would happen to me but hey s*it happens ..
Angie <CrazylilAngela@aol.com>
miami, florida USA - Tuesday, November 27, 2001 at 00:03:12 (EST)

I found the book at a store where I live in Portland and I am so glad I did. This whole thing is incredible. Wow. I can only say, "The beat goes on." Peace
USA - Friday, November 16, 2001 at 19:06:45 (EST)

I think this site is great! I have been looking for someone who sees things like i do.. i couldn't agree with Sam more in the journal... Praise JEREMY!
Seattle, WA USA - Tuesday, November 13, 2001 at 22:20:26 (EST)

Heather, Please tell your parents all that you can. I know this will be hard, but they can't help you if they don't know what is going on with you. Have you tried to get medication from your doctor for your A.D.D.? If you could concentrate on getting your life back in order, this could help tremendously. You sound as if you have a loving family that would work this through with you. I don't believe your brother would stop talking to you, this is just his way of showing his love for you. He doesn't want to see you hurting.Try listening to "REM's" Everybody Hurts song. I think it represents what we all need to do. I have never been a cutter, so I can't tell you what to do, I just know that you will someday look back upon this time of your life and see how hurtful this was.I think we all grow a little inside by going through what we are going through. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend that will support you? Can you talk to a counselor at school about this? Just talking about this will help.I really feel for you and wish I could make it all better, but you are the only one who can do that. I'm great at offering assistance and advice, but if only someone would offer me the same. I know what you mean when you say that everyday changes, one day up, next day down. It does take a toll on a person. Hopefully someday down the line, we will be able to say that what a waste of our lives, to be feeling this way for long,when we can be happy all the time. Have faith in your family, they are the only true ones in our lives that truly love us and care about us. Believe in yourself, you are truly a beautiful person, who just needs a little support and compassion and you'll get through this. Keep me updated on your progress. I truly do care. Smile for me.
illinois USA - Wednesday, October 31, 2001 at 11:53:29 (EST)

yes my family has knowledge of this. i have been suicidal off and on again for 3 years. last summer i went to visit my brother and he told me that i was a pyschopath to do this to myself. he told me that if he ever heard of me cutting myself again, that he wouldnt ever talk to me again. i know my brother, and i know that he is not joking. my family does care obviously, and i know they do, but i am stranded because i cant tell them. i know this is wrong, but i am like addicted to cutting. i can't stop.i have done all i can do. i have gone to therepist after therepist, and it doesnt matter, it doesnt help. i dont like the idea of people you dont know trying to control your life. i know i am only a teenager but they dont know a goddamned thing about us. they dont know me and they dont know my fucking life. you people are the only ones i can trust, because you know how i feel. i cannot think of happy things, because with every up comes a plunging fall. and then it keeps going around in like this neverending circle of feeling ok one day, and then dead the next. it reminds me of a quote by the deftones "i try and look up to the sky but my eyes burn." that is my favorite quote of all time. the only medical condition i have is ADD (attention deficit disorder) and it makes me so angry because i am not medicated for it. one time i took my friend's riddelen and it made me feel GOOD. it felt so nice to just be in my own world, and i could actually concentrate. it got me away from my problems. as far as i know, it is the only thing that has ever helped me. this website is a good place for me to come because it makes me feel like i'm not alone. everyone who is out there is free to email me with their stories or thoughts or comments. maybe i can help some of you. -heather-
heather <xoxoIxoxo@hotmail.com>
USA - Monday, October 29, 2001 at 21:24:07 (EST)

Heather, have you told your family how you feel? This could be the first step toward recovery.Are you on any anti-depressive medication? If no maybe that is another option. Please don't cut yourself anymore,that only makes things worse.Keep faith in yourself, for your life will get better. It's hard to see now, but believe me life is full of ups and downs and it is the way we handle them that creates the outcome.I really feel for you and hope things start looking up for you. It's funny how when things seem the worst for us, our compassion toward one another erupts, and we can temporarily forget about our own problems. I've been feeling like you for a long time, I'm in my forty's, and I have good days and bad days,and i just try to think of positive things. Take a walk in the park and take in all the beauty it has to offer. You are going through a difficult time in your life and you can't let it beat you. I'll be on this websight almost every day, so if you want to correspond through this websight I'll be here for you. Please don't E-mail me, as I don't want my wife to know that i feel this way. I'm just taking one day at a time, and I hope that time will be a healer.Smile for me, you're worth it.
dave < >
Illinois USA - Sunday, October 28, 2001 at 11:53:51 (EST)

sometimes, on days like today, i wonder if things will ever change. i wonder if i will ever feel alive
heather <xoxoIxoxo@hotmail.com>
USA - Saturday, October 27, 2001 at 02:40:27 (EDT)

does anyone know of a way to get rid of mental illness? i have been dealing with it for long enough and i want it gone forever. i am sick of waking up wanting to die, and i am sick of cutting myself. and i am very very tired of ending the day crying. i am tired of being pissed off all the time. i want to feel good for a change. everytime i recover i spend some time being all dandy, and just when i think i am ok i blink and i am messed up again. what the hell did i do to deserve this eternal torture and pain?! i would give anything just to have my family look at me like im normal and not like i am just a freak. i am 14 years old. i am supposed to be out living my teenage years, but for some reason i cant. this is no joke. i need help
Heather <xoxoIxoxo@hotmail.com>
lexington, michigan USA - Saturday, October 27, 2001 at 02:19:09 (EDT)

i'll remember you for a looooooooong time dave. maybe never forget you. when i am concerned about people and care for them i dont forget them. i do hope everything gets better. hopefully i am able to order that book soon.
Amber <majick_dragon@yahoo.com>
Missouri USA - Monday, October 22, 2001 at 20:42:03 (EDT)

I have to agree with you Amber, and I just wanted you to know that I was shocked by the ending in the book and feel like i have taken 10steps backward into depression. The book was good reading and informative, I was just not ready for the ending.Thanks for remembering me, Amber.
dave <dfandmb98@aol.com>
illinois USA - Friday, October 19, 2001 at 00:14:10 (EDT)

Alex dont you think that is kind of harsh? on this site it is a good place to vent. you are just looking upon the surface of it all. i really havent posted on here much. i post all my things on a different website (www.bolt.com i'm not advertising here) i see no harm in having anything like this. i think it helps more than anything. knowing that other people feel the same way you do.... and have people give and take advice from others. and that thing you said about jeremy....that was just uncalled for. depression, and bi polar....and all those other things.... they are an ILLNESS.... keyword being illness. it is an illness that some people overcome. its not like someone "chooses" to be that way. no one person is able to choose that. ~Dave~ nice to see you again.... i hope things are getting a little bit better for you atleast. ~To all~ Much peace, light, love, and happiness. Blessed Be and Merry Part.
Missouri USA - Thursday, October 11, 2001 at 17:56:09 (EDT)

damnnnnn i cant believe there are people actually buying this shit, I do understand mental illness and believe everyone of us has some form of it to some extent, that very fact defines individuality. but this Jeremy character is by no means a martyr or an example to follow! In one of his cheesy excuses for a thought, he says that the reality is that he is always with us?? who is this guy the spawn of David Koresh? and for those folks who unlike JEREMY (probably inspired by pearl jam), posted ACTUAL and HONEST stories and concerns, seek help and stop trying so hard at being happy, just let it flow. join a martial arts class, get a hobby or join the armed forces; God knows they keep you busy and please stop reading Mr. Wisdom's rantings, they will only distract you from obtaining real happiness by confusing you and making you ponder on things that we all know have no answer and that make life so magical. Ciao people, Laterz JEREMY i hope you free yourself from your basement, stop ripping of these people with your pointless rants and get a job.
Alexander <cerveza@mail.com>
South, TX USA - Wednesday, October 03, 2001 at 08:01:42 (EDT)

dave, yes it is very hard. ecspecialy when u r reminded everyday. i understand where you r coming from, but realize that you are setting yourself in a trap which you might not be able to get out of. i think you should tell your wife, she might not understand, but maybe she could help you. -heather- this is my quote: i tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesent even matter.
heather <xoxoIxoxo@hotmail.com>
lexington, mi USA - Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 20:40:18 (EDT)

Hey. God, I dont know how long ago it was since i last wrote to this thing.. but im alone thinking right now and i thought id give it another shot. I am depressed, but i do not know with what anymore cuz it keeps gettin worse and then better.. and it feels like there's nothing i can do about it. When I started out i guess i was just clinically depressed, but it has gone way further down now. And it feels like all those people who should care dont. My Dad is embarrased of me and my appearance and thinks im just a worthless piece of shit who doesnt try to help myself. My mom.. well i think she tries to care.. i really think she does.. but she never seems to succeed at it very well. My bestest friend in the whole world wont listen to me and i guess doesnt have time for a "freshman" anymore now that shes older (by one year) her friends tell her not to hang out with me anymore that she shouldnt hang out with little freshmans like me... so i guess she's starting to listen. My other former Best friend Chris.. well who knows whats in his head.. he doesnt care anymore.. we both live far away and go to different schools now so i think he thinks it gives him an excuse not to keep in touch but he has time for everyone else. So right now i feel all i have left is My boyfriend. And right now im wondering how much i mean to him. I promised myself i would never have a relationship with someone involved with drugs again since my last relationship because it hurt me so much. and now my boyfriend that i have now i think is getting back into it and i dunno what to do. I love him so much so i will not break up with him. But i guess its testing him right now to see how much i do mean to him... but i dont wanna do this. I already wanna kill myself so bad right now.. i use to be a cutter and then i stopped when i realized what i doing, but i started doing it again now. and everything seems to be going down hill.. and no one cares and im just losing people. I dont wanna lose my boyfriend now too. i dont know what to do.. i wanna run away or else just like kill myself i dont know what else to do now.. it seems as if ive tried everything else. But i should stop wasting people's time in here.. so im off. thanks for everything this site, and the novel and all your support.
Carrie <Metalnirv16@aol.com>
Bloomington, MN USA - Thursday, September 27, 2001 at 19:16:39 (EDT)

Heather, it is hard not to look back when it is on your mind daily.I understand what you are saying, I just can't seem to let go. Please don't E mail me, it would just upset my wife. I am constantly thinking about suicide, but i'm afraid to leave my wife and two kids behind. I've just purchased the Jeremy's Prophet book, and hope to gain some insight as to why i am feeling this way. Thank you for your concern.
Dave <DFandMB98@AOL.COM>
Chicago, Illinois USA - Saturday, September 01, 2001 at 01:26:14 (EDT)

i was depressed for about 7 months, and i think guilt has alot to do w/ depression ( dave ). i thought suicide was the only way out, and i attempted 6 times, before giving up because i wasn't achieving. my depression let me open my eyes and see the world through a different prospective. my motto is : NEVER LOOK BACK . i used 2 dwell on the bad things, and thats why i was depressed. i would dwell on my mistakes.
heather <xoxoIxoxo@hotmail.com>
lexington, mi USA - Wednesday, August 15, 2001 at 18:48:26 (EDT)

Mental illness comes from within. The power of the mind can conquer all. Unfortunately, mankind seems destined to self-destruct. I have found that cannabis takes off the violent edge, but I still carry Mr. Nine Millimeter always. Best of luck to Jeremy. Don't dwell on negativity.
Cosmic Debris <can't say/not mine>
Fort Collins, Colorado USA - Friday, August 10, 2001 at 16:08:40 (EDT)

i've been depresed for years now, i've been going to therapy and started to take medications, problem is, they dont work. its hard becouse i do stuff that i wouldnt normally do.I hate it, I cant seem to function everyday, i'm in my head like crazy everyday. its been tough. my girlfreind and people who i thought were my freinds have all distance there self to me becouse they cant stand being near me. I dont mean to be like this, I never chose to be like this.none of us choose to have this illness. the freaked up thing about it is that where powerless over it, just like someone is powerless over getting cancer, and we have to swollow pills in order for us to stop the pain..I would appreiciate anyone who can relate to email me...thank you
chris <creerock@yahoo.com>
norwalk, ct USA - Thursday, August 09, 2001 at 18:45:40 (EDT)

my life has been in a constant spiral downward i have tried to kill myself numerous times and now i am getting help but i still feel like going for those pills ocasionally
joe <moonchildxxx@cs.com>
USA - Thursday, August 09, 2001 at 01:46:52 (EDT)

i just finihsed watching VH1 about the INXS band leader who killed himself in 1997. I think it goes to show that having it all doesn't much matter if your depressed.
Cheyenne, WY USA - Monday, July 30, 2001 at 02:35:07 (EDT)

Hey everyone. I put an entry in here almost a year ago about the night i tried killing myself and almost died. I got a lot of e-mails back from many people who came to this website. I just wanted to say thank you. As of now, I'm doing much better. I still have my days but it's not like before. Everyones love and help was and still is greatly appriciated to this day. Now I am here if you need me. I have been there so if you need to talk e-mail me! I'm only 15, but I can still help. I know what it's like to feel alone. I wish everyone the best!
Cortney <APPLEcheeks03@aol.com>
Parma, OHIO USA - Monday, July 02, 2001 at 20:34:11 (EDT)

Bird, It is not the fact I am angry. It is the the simple fact of society punishing me. I am shunned by a lot of people, My friends, That I thought were friends, Were just Aquatainces(sp?) But when I look for help on the internet and find none and just be ridiculed even more, It doesn't go well with me.
USA - Wednesday, June 27, 2001 at 13:05:00 (EDT)

Another thing. If another bastard patronizes me as someone who knows nothing of this illness, I'll post another angry remark.
USA - Monday, June 25, 2001 at 16:57:40 (EDT)

Suicide isn't natural. Humans are the only being who commit suicide(Novel). The problem with outright saying suicide isn't natural is most people won't listen. It is just another opinion to a society trapped in continual entropy. Birthright to be joyful? I think we have a birthright to suffer from birth. That is our birthright. Being joyful is others teachings. If you learn that a sunny day is good, A sunny day will be good, To you. Same thing with rainy days. Not a good day. Joyfulness and happiness are mere teachings. Our birthright is to suffer and feel pain. What good is making others happy if they don't matter? You make someone happy, They won't remember it, They die. Simple. I feel life is pointless, But suicide is even more pointless. But to think suicide is natural or not is a teaching. Learn it well or live. Suicide is a weak option. Suicide is the answer to nothing but how afraid of how well you have it. What you will learn from medical help is basically another teaching you will never learn again.
Joseph <StupidIdiot@whatmail.com>
USA - Monday, June 25, 2001 at 16:55:59 (EDT)

thank you dave....and i hope all goes well for you, and everyone else. much peace, love, light, and happiness to you all.
Amber <Amber@voyant.net>
Villa Ridge, Missouri USA - Sunday, June 24, 2001 at 23:14:49 (EDT)

I asked a question about being suicidal because of guilt,and i have not recieved any responses. For more than a year i have felt suicidal and depressed. I have suicidal thoughts daily. I fear the day when i will take them seriously. These thoughts consume most of my day and I just need to know if this is a natural reaction to feeling guilty or do i really have a problem that needs counseling? Please only answer me on this websight for i don't want my wife to know I am asking you this. Thank you. Amber, If i can help in any way, let me know on this websight and i'll try if i can.
Dave <DFandMB98@AOL.COM>
Chicago, Illinois USA - Friday, June 22, 2001 at 00:03:22 (EDT)

your welcome dave. i hope you didnt feel like i was invading you or anything. but i do hope things get better for you, and i understand why you want to keep it on this site. hope all goes well for you.
Amber <Amber@voyant.net>
Villa Ridge, Missouri USA - Friday, June 15, 2001 at 22:03:12 (EDT)

Thank you Amber for a nice E-Mail. I hope all is well with you.
Dave <DFand mb98@AOL.com>
Illinois USA - Friday, June 15, 2001 at 00:04:34 (EDT)

I asked for understanding and if it is normal to be feeling suicidal for betraying my wife. I was looking for a female friends views and i fell in love with her. She wanted no part of me and my depression has grown. Is this a normal response for me? I just don't know. I'm working things out with my wife and really don't need anyone E-mailing or IM'ing me, as this is a very sensitive area in my marriage and I don't want my wife to know that I have contacted you about feeling suicidal. I appreciate the efforts that have been made to contact me, however, I think if my wife knew about this that it would make matters worse. So Please only answer My questions on this sight. I'll be better off this way. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.
Dave <DFandMB98@Aol.com>
Illinois USA - Thursday, June 14, 2001 at 23:58:51 (EDT)

wow....for not being on here a while, you kinda have to get updated. i'm sorry for not posting my article, but it really didnt turn out how i wanted it to. it was only a high school newspaper.. nothing much, but i guess i will post it in a few. much peace, light, love, and happiness to all.
Amber <Amber@voyant.net>
Villa Ridge, Missouri USA - Wednesday, June 13, 2001 at 22:59:51 (EDT)

Jose, I shouldn't be. It's just I'm never helped, And society as a whole looks down upon me. I guess my not being helped by the only place I can get it, Leads to anger.
Joseph <StupidIdiot@whatmail.com>
Memphis, TN USA - Tuesday, June 12, 2001 at 04:04:24 (EDT)

Joeseph, I don't know why you are angry with me. I do not know this Charles Burger person.
Jose Jones
USA - Tuesday, June 12, 2001 at 01:49:52 (EDT)

Weird. You believe I am projecting my thoughts of this site upon others. So you think I read this for my own amusement. How did you come up with this conclusion. Don't answer. The answer will be from your ass anyways. If you've read my first post(Not too far down) Then you would understand I don't read this shit to amuse me. Reading this helps me understand that I am not alone and this suicidal illness idn't only in me. But you two. Don't help anyone. You two are arrogant fools and this is the last time I'm reminding you two of your peon status. Now, My saying of people that read this for amusement, Are those such of you two. You two come into this discussion, For the first time, And ridicule my opinions. Your arrogance thinks you are making people feel better. I despise your kind. The kind that ridicules for what they don't know of. I spit upon you.
Joseph <Stupididiot@whatmail.com>
Memphis, TN USA - Tuesday, June 12, 2001 at 01:32:46 (EDT)

Joseph, I think you are projecting your own thoughts of this site onto others. You may be reading this page for your own amusements, but others may not be. Also, I do not think Jose Jones has all the answers, but I feel that if he shows supportive emotions for others, it could only help deal with this tragic disease. When one goes to a shrink, what happens? Two people communicate about issues that concern them. This is all that is taking place here. I have read nowhere on this site that this provides a solution, it just helps people realize that they're others out there who deal with similar issues. Furthermore, from reading your comments, who are you to decide what these people need? Writing out ones problems has proven to have cathartic effects. You should try it some time ;)
Charles Burgur
North Carolina USA - Tuesday, June 12, 2001 at 00:46:49 (EDT)

Jones, You may disagree. But these people aren't receiving the help they require. You may email people, But you think it helps. Are you that confident in changing a person's point of view? Is that arrogance or confidence. There is a very thin line.
Joseph <StupidIdiot@whatmail.com>
Memphis, TN USA - Monday, June 11, 2001 at 18:52:21 (EDT)

Joseph, I must disagree with your last post. I have e-mailed people from this discussion and offered my support. Therefore, in my opinion, I think it helps :)
Jose Jones
USA - Monday, June 11, 2001 at 13:20:40 (EDT)

This is actually stupid. This discussion is rarely a place to turn to for help. It is merely a board to hear others bitch. People who visit this read for their own pleasure, They do not add to the help and healing. Dave, I recommend seeing a therapist or Psychiatrist for healing and medication. Suicide, I guess, Isn't the answer.
Joseph <StupidIdiot@whatmail.com>
Memphis, Tn USA - Monday, June 11, 2001 at 02:19:33 (EDT)

How long will I feel this need to kill myself so my wife and kids won't have to put up with my depression. I looked to another female for friendship only and ended up in love, and the guilt that I am feeling is overwhelming. Suicidal thoughts fill my head every day. My wife doesn't understand, and I can't keep living with this guilt.
Dave <DFandMB98@AOL.COM>
Illinois USA - Sunday, June 10, 2001 at 23:54:03 (EDT)

Hello to all of you out there who are trying to figure this out. Im a mother of a bipolar teen. Im so lost and have no where to turn. Im trying to find out what to do for my daughter.To help her to get some kind of sanity. Shes been in hosiptals for trying to kill her self and has been on so many different meds. Every where I turn to get her the right help I hit a brick wall. We have been dealing with bipolar for a short while and I need all the help we can get. I have read some of the comments and it breaks my heart. Please if there is any one who might be able to help me, to help my daughter please email me. Thank you.
sheryll <slsb33@hotmail.com>
charlotte, NC USA - Sunday, June 03, 2001 at 10:12:14 (EDT)

This is all weird. You people seem to be on medication, but still not alright, Me myself, I can't go see a doctor. My father hates me already, He'd probably run me over with his van. Figures though, I really turned into another person, Terrible in school, Friends think I'm psychotic. Am I? Maybe. Would medicine help? Doubtful. Medicine hasn't helped me for crap. But if there was an easy, painless, quick way to die, I've be dead already. I think a gun would do the job, But I have no access to a gun. Anywhere. So I'm stuck here, at my computer(My Utopia) and go on the internet to figure what's wrong with me. Depression? Most likely. Any help? None. No friends to help me, My family will probably DISOWN me, and I can't do much but get advice from people who've been there. Any suggestions? Please, they are very welcome. If not, That's fine. I have lived without an idea for a couple years now.
Joseph <StupidIdiot@whatmail.com>
Memphis, Tennessee USA - Wednesday, May 30, 2001 at 22:01:32 (EDT)

Hey all. It's been a while. God.. a long while. Anyway Ive been out of the hospital for about 7 months. Wow, it doesnt even feel that long to me. I was a cutter, and clinicalally depressed goin into about the worst depression i have ever had. Sowwy, i forgot what it is called. heh, thats me ol' forgetful. Well, atleast about things like that. I dont forget much of my past, i guess cuz it still does haunt me. Anyway, to make a long story short i thought i was doin better after all those months and i guess i wasnt. One thing lead to another, stress with school and friends, depression diced heavily on that. I cut once again. Right on my wrist. And I never told my boyfriend about it either. But, of course, he found it. He got mad, angry, furious! He thought I didnt trust him. I told him i dont tell many people about it becuz i dont think they will understand. But, he said "well i guess we dont understand each other then" And we broke up. I thought I was gunna die.. He was like my life at this time. I locked myself in my room for the rest of the week and cried. Prett pathetic huh? Yeah, i know, but what are you gunna do right? Anyway, im convinced i love him. I mean, i still have him as a friend, but for some reason thats not good enough for me. So ive been cranky, down, and keeping to myself.. so ive flipped out on people who get in my way. I seem to be losing friends left and right, and along with my boyfriend. And i dont think this is about him anymore. Im eating more than usual.. keeping to myself, in my room.. all that shit. I dunno what to do.. and it just leads me to want to cut myself even more, but i try not to for cory. I thought about one of the entries in here.. asking if u really could run away. Heh, Ive tried that, but somehow your problems will always follow you where you go, and it doesnt end. It can even get worse that way. One of my favorite quotes is "you might be done with the past, but the past will never be done with you" its something like that anyway. No one believes that quote.. they all think: OH YOU CAN DO WAHTEVER U WANT!! BUT ITS WRONG! IVE TRIED YOU CANT! what am i suppose to do now? I just wanna kill myself but for some reason i cant! Can some one figure out why im not just goin on and killing myself and tell me what it is so i can do it/use it more often? It would come in much handy! But So much for that making a long story short huh? Anyway, i guess im just asking for some help, and looking for somewhere to go.. can someone feel me in? At night i sing myself to sleep with "Let it Be" by john lennon. Pretty sad and pathetic huh? I dunno why that song comforts me but it does. And i dont even get why im writing all this cuz there's no point to it! So i better be off. Good luck to the rest of you! "And when the broken hearted people living in their world of dreams, there will be an answer let it be, but though they may be parted there is still a chance that they might see! There will be an answer Let it Be!" Silly huh?
Carrie <metalnirv16@aol.com>
bloomington, mn USA - Saturday, May 26, 2001 at 21:59:47 (EDT)

I too just finished the novel. It is my belief that Jeremy's message is very important and should be shared with everyone, especially people dealing with mood disorders. Bravo Jeremy and thank you :)
Gwen Freeman
Baltimore, Maryland United States - Friday, May 25, 2001 at 01:11:42 (EDT)

i used the library computor i can't aford a computor because i need to pay for my phycotic medicines so i hope this web site is to help and not so much profit because im very careing to all when it come to mental illness been there and still there made many suicide attemps almost suceeded twice i just cant stand the weak to be taking advantage of so it your trueful i'll be willing to tell you my stories and their interesting im forty year old and have a son who is bipolar from the age of ten when the medicne ritlin came out and made him worse i started getting sick by dealing with the gov. system to seek help for fred my son at this time fred's in jail and im fighting the system to get some sort of finace help for me its hard to get help when your a manic depressive with out any helth insurance and i have seen a lot in the past six days while i was in treatment center im trying to get my anger under control because im pycotic bipolar and many more names they called me the doctor's, my friend has a computor and he'll let me use his emal address i think its gtunderwood i'll chat later or please write me sincerey debbie p.s. this computot does not have spell check and im on a one hour timer so my is raceing bye for now
debbie somers <505 old hickory st>
panama city, FL USA 32404 - Thursday, May 24, 2001 at 15:05:16 (EDT)

I just finished reading the novel and I wanted you to know it will change my path in the future. I think it will help me- and others like me dealing with mental illness a great deal.
Erika <glitteraven@excite.com>
Toronto, Ontario Canada - Wednesday, May 16, 2001 at 22:54:24 (EDT)

I truly hope Jeremy feels gratitude for his very special friends. With support we all can overcome the walls that seem to appear on our paths. When we are up against a wall we always have a choice.
New York, New York USA - Tuesday, May 15, 2001 at 14:23:57 (EDT)

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.
Bob Marley
- Tuesday, May 01, 2001 at 17:59:28 (EDT)

I think this is a great website and I have a lot of respect for the people who made it and who care about the people who go through this. Thanks.
Heather <scoot_54@hotmail.com>
Minnesota USA - Friday, April 27, 2001 at 11:54:16 (EDT)

I found the novel illuminating. It really helped me understand what it's like to suffer with bi-polar mental disease. The "Must Says" were definitely food for thought. Thank-You
judith <hm7744>
miami, fl USA - Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 14:43:18 (EDT)

god bless jeremy
tina <greenl9@aol.com>
wake forest, nc USA - Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 00:54:41 (EDT)

God hates me and I want to die. I tried getting better. I tried getting help, and now, I don't care. I WANT to die now.I can't take this anymore, I'm going to explode I need to get away from here and from myself before i do something stupid. Can i run away for real?
Lilly <Lovelylady345>
New York, New York USA - Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 21:49:35 (EDT)

Wow! What an amazing website! I don't remember HOW I found ya'll, but I am so glad I did, I almost feel like I KNOW you! Wishing you all (especially Jeremy) the best of luck. Deep Breaths and Belly Laughs, Enigma
Enigma <enigmatic74@hotmail.com>
Maine USA - Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 20:23:39 (EDT)

I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your site and like what you're doing for your friend. I'm not going to write about my life to justify myself to anyone. I would just like to say, Jeremy, i hope you make it past this, i know what you're going through. Also, could i get the password to "jubilee"? Thanks much...
Amanda <AloneNtweeky@icqmail.com>
Appleton, Wisconsin USA - Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 00:56:58 (EDT)

This site really brings it home to me. Thanks.
USA - Monday, April 16, 2001 at 20:57:30 (EDT)

well i can identify with a lot of people who have submitted an entry. i knew that there were more people out there like me but i was very unsure if i was the only one who felt this way. lately i have been worn out mentally and physically. i hardly leave the house unless for school or work. i find it very hard to get out of bed in the morning. i am a high school senior and i feel horrible all of the time... i have this really great guy, but right now we are long distance. i feel lost without him by my side. recently i had a fight with one of my friends, actually we dont talk anymore... this has also decreased my health. i am so stressed out. to make matters worse i have a hernia, so everytime i get to the point of breaking, i feel weak and pains shoot threw my chest. to be honest i dont know what to do anymore! i have tried suicide, but im still alive... and to jeremy, i am sorry you ended up there in the first place. i wish we didnt have those places... they make people even worse then when they began. if anyone wants to talk email me at brandynhoney@hotmail.com
brandy <brandynhoney@hotmail.com>
stroudsburg, PA USA - Wednesday, March 21, 2001 at 19:10:57 (EST)

Intellectualizing pain is for me more painful than the the pain itself. Even our own thoughts of the pain we feel do not describe the reality of the anguish. Pain is pure. Describing it to myself, or to you, and for you to really understand, or for me to really understand you, would be impossible I think. It is enough to say that you are in pain. We should not need to justify the unseen horror just because it is not cancer or AIDS or open wounds across our flesh. To express pain is to make oneself vulnerable. What worse when taking that great leap than to be dismissed or scoffed at?
bjm <bmcdonagh@lifespan.org>
boston, ma USA - Wednesday, March 21, 2001 at 16:52:40 (EST)

Hello once again my brothers and sisters, or what I now know to be, my soldiers in the struggle. How many have you have read me previous discussion. Well since then I've been thinking whether I'm special or... M/D. You see unlike you guys I want to live, I am not the problem in my life. No thats not scientifically possible. When I was young I made a fool of myself so much trying to socialise, that I could only think of one think, to be nice and quiet, Why because I built myself upon characters on T.V like Richard geer in an office and agentlemen, Jean Claude Van Dam (Any film his quiet calm character that the women seem to love) Denzel washington in glory (you know noble characters). As for the actors themsleves they meant nothing, I merely watched for the characters they portrayed. I realised I could build a fake personality to cover me, whether good or evil (bad... in long run causes split personalities). But getting back, being nice couldn't possibly cause any problems, and being quiet, meant you weren't looking for trouble. but upon being quiet and nice I realised that, that made no difference. People still hated me, at first I was shocked/gob smacked/stunned/dazed/lost/baffeled/dazzeled/confused, which ever country you come from, I was hurt. You see I realised that they was a problem, but it wasn't me, how could it be. I did nothing wrong, I can honestly say I felt outcasted by society, and as far as my subconcious knew that was normal, and as long as that was normal, considering what the hell is normal, that was fine. Honestly what is normal, what is good, it seems to be bad is to be good and to be good is to be bad. One thing I never told you guys is my father was mentally insane/Ill... it really doesn't matter. You see now that I know he passed down, which ever diseise to me. I dont hate him, but honeslty could not give a damn if I ever saw him again. Don't Judge, because you know little of my life. I could not possibly type my life story on this thing, trust me. But getting back, my life is worth something, because I wasn't the problem. They were, the News, Tv, Media and Goverment. They have some how posioned our society. I'm not gonna go into detail, you know what I'm talking about, people have no minds of thier own, they follow whatever pleases them, even though what pleases them is wrong. Peer pressures of society, but you must understand, that our minds can cope with lonelyness(well for a month or two) because of our so called mental Illness. but their minds crack under pressure and don't get a chance to recover, without getting a neddle stuck in their arm. So we are not the problem, they are. Todays society insult each other to boost their status over each other, they have no consideration for feeling of others, they continously work their arses off to a life that is almost, already set for them. their minds are set like computer programs from birth, only to have little Judgement on what the real world beholds. Do not kill yourselves because we will recieve nothing in the world to come... and the world we leave behind... misery and pain to the ones we love. I've always thought of my pain as levels of pressure and each level holds a higher level/knowledge of power and wisdom (under any condition, we've all been there, write if you'd like to put my misery to the test) Right now I'm on about level 8 of ten. Its hard I know, but it feels good to know, that not just anyone can do this. I even told my friends before I knew "you could never walk in my shoes" and they can't. Peace and I'm out (for those who may have tried to contact me for support I've given the correct email address this time. This will be my last message, because this site may become a bad habit if I persit. By the way I do have friends but could not tell you which one I relate to (Who the hell am I, and what pack does this lost sheep, seriously belong too)
Thee-Imagination <Cryin4U@37.com>
Croydon, London United Kingdom - Tuesday, March 20, 2001 at 16:19:15 (EST)

I am pretty sure that the author will appreciate my comment, being that we spoke on a few occassions in friendly chat. We have never really had the chance to discuss Jeremy other than the fact to get the word out about it. When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I was embarrassed. I remeber watching a speical about the life of Patty Duke and how 'crazy' she looked. That is exactly how the media portrayed her. How ugly a person she became to me after I saw what she would do. Little did I know that I would do the samething, but wrote it off as a woman's problem that she would deal with monthly. I sunk into a serious depression that no one could understand. Not even my so called boyfriend who was in love with me and we spoke of marriage. Things got so bad that I wouldn't get out of bed to go to class. I made my mom come and stay with me in the dorms for about 3 weeks. With sick grandparents at home that she needed to tend to I was suffocating my mom and stealing all of her time. I had become a theif over night. Robbing everyone of their time and energy. My sister didn't really understand what was going on with me. She would just tell me to get out of bed and go. It is so easy to say, but not to do. I was at a christian university where everyone would just tell me to pray about it. I do believe in the power of prayer, but I also believe in the power of an M.D. I had been seeing a psychologist for years and finally got down to business. I can only thank God that I was a chosen one to have this disorder only to help those who suffer along with me. I am grateful for someone like Jeremy who does want to share his story. It reminds me that there is nothing to embarrassed of if it educates the ignorance in society. Thank you Jeremy.
Elizabeth <lizzyturtle22@hotmail.com>
Bourbonnais, IL USA - Tuesday, March 20, 2001 at 13:11:01 (EST)

i have been here before. i just wanted to say that i have done a published article on depression/self mutilation....which i have done. i'm not a professional journalist or anything, but if you do want a copy of it you can email me, and i could give you a copy. much peace and love to everybody.
Amber <Amber@voyant.net>
St. Louis, Missouri USA - Monday, March 19, 2001 at 19:57:27 (EST)

I am a child of an alcoholic who would verbally and physically abuse my mom, siblings, and self. I hated my father and life in general. I was also molested by my brother-in-law, who at the time was dating my sister. This went on from 9 yrs old into my twenties. I couldn't reveal this to my family, they would never understand. Besides, my sister was crazy about him and tried killing herself several times because of him...I didn't want to push her over the edge. They have twins that are 9yrs old now and I can help but wonder. Once she walked in on my brother-in-law kissing my middle sister and blamed her for it...do you know what I'm mean? They didn't speak for years and she still blames her. Anyway, as a child I always felt like an outsider to the world, hoping that someday it would all come to an end. Yet, everyone sees this lively outgoing person who they have never seen cry. In high school I hung out with the troubled crowd. Drugs, alcohol, and cutting school was what I did best. Boys wanted to date me but I wouldn't allow anyone in to my heart...my first boyfriend at 15 really took some abuse. I built a wall so high that no mother f*cker out there would ever knock down. Yes, I tried killing myself several times. I spent countless hours just planning it and many trips to the hospital. Friends and family were oblivious they thought it was a phase. I was a very good liar and had this great ability to analyze people...still do. Now, I'm married to a wonderful man...really. Why can't I be happy? It's always something with me, longing attention; jealousy; picking fights; no drive to find a job or just get out of the house at times. Our marriage will never last this way. Now that I'm 32, for the first time this past Xmas, I was able to sit in the same room with my dad...he actually treated me like a human being...he had some health issues and so I did some research for him and he actually listened...it was great! I became obsessed with doing further research to make him well, and also get some attention. One month later he suffered a major stroke and has been hospitalized since. Will I ever get the nerve to just say, "I love you" before he passes.
USA - Monday, March 19, 2001 at 15:00:06 (EST)

I thank you my brothers and sisters, for making my life worser than it already is. You see I grew up sitting in the corner, never being able to relate to people, trying to copy the fly guys, trying to impress but always, yes always making a clown of my self. I never really understood it as a child, all I knew was I was different. I was bullied in practically every school I was in, yet was not weak, it was always more than one, and people being weak as they are, just followed. As a child I also had no emotions, well little emotions, so I began practicing this skill and realised I could become the perfect liar (SKILL NO.1) The skill of being able to put on a straight face which hides all emotions, at the age of 12 my mother could not tell if I was lying. But still I never used this skill to rob or cheat I considered that wrong, considering all the popular people used lies to boost they image, I wanted to be just as high as them but the clean way. From 10-15 I was in three diffrent schools with the problem of not relating but my mother never knew. Through out this time secondary was a rough ride of talking to whoever talked to me. But this was inside of school lets talk about the outside, where my brother at times didn't want me around him, constant killer arguements, that would cripple an average person in so many ways, when he had girls around I couldn't talk to them but was always extremly nice when replying to a question. I was a nice guy, but every time they left, I got angry thinking, why, why is it so hard. On the last year of secondary I continously skipped school with no thoughts of my life, I didn't care, its like I wasn't popular. This over the years made me angry against the average person, even people with low intellgence where getting hot girls or relating to just anyone, while I was there with (SKILL NO.2)intteligence on the inside but stupidity on the outside. My mother soon learned about my grades after school, and when school was over, My mother spoke to me in a soft voice and said what do you want to do, but you see the (Skill No.3)is the ability to analyse people, so I knew she was really saying Son what the hell am I gonna do with you. I had dreams but I hadn't the balls to follow any of them I felt useless every day, because I would always lose concentration, this grew as I became older. 1st year of college came and I didn't have a clue where I was going I was sunddely an adult, so I did an art course because I could draw, through these times at college I became Isolated and very angry, never realising that I was walking around with a screw face, and ruining my chance with me meeting girls. Some very attractive girls did approach but I had no idea how to flirt, I felt what if she takes it the wrong way, what works for some doesn't necessarily work for others. So I was so nice that I was so boring, in the mean time my skill of hiding emotions was A*Class and no one knew the pain I felt. I used my anger to pump and work out like crazy (SKILL NO.4) Hyper, at the age of eighteen I was perfectly fit in ways that can't be explained and I now, just had to sit back and be myself, Mr Nice guy. The guys began hating me so I did martial arts to keep them away and to boost my status, girls started coming but my hatred pushed all of them away and it did fell great at times, my mother then grew intrest in me being a perfect son, well thats what she thought, but deep inside the anger grew, I can honestly say at the age of eighteen I had lost my emotions with my mother I couldn't relate, but because my mother was wise I would listen. After anaylysing so called players for two years at college, I moved to performing arts and got strongly abused, but realised in order for me to be higher than these people and save a place in the next world, I must be extremely nice to them, because it will always play on they're concioussness and it will make them feel low no matter how high you are bad things will always bring you down and push people away. But enough of my life story I actually thought I was special until I came here because I can now control my anger and am a saint to people around me, I advise my friends they look up to me. But according to this sight I have a mental problem, no your only mental if you tell someone about. So my brothers And sister learn to master your gifts and look after the rest of the world. But before you people get the wrong Idea I haven't got any happiness from this at the current age of twenty two I lost my sleep, now my mind constantly brings up my painfull past, and reminds me of the people that have in some way made this ten times worse, so I now only speak to freinds of my family only cause we still live together, I don't know how I'll survive by myself even though I constantly locked in my room by myself, getting to sleep at night by smoking drugs and drinking alcohol. I now work and know that you at least have to be around people, I have learn't a new skill I call it (Converting Negativity Into Positvity and how it works is, whenever I get mad and think of something bad I merely say something good, but good thoughts must also be replaced with good words, try it. My last words are to say "We must learn to live with whatever we have, even though what we have, may not make us happy, but if that not enough then, I say to you my brothers and sisters (Find your happiness through others) In other words make someone happy. It will work trust me, just don't stay around for the attention.
Cryin4U <Cryin4U@hotmail.com>
London, Croydon United Kingdom - Thursday, March 15, 2001 at 08:37:03 (EST)

First of all,I am manic.Just thought I'd get that out of the way.My entire world is like a darkness,But that's not really why I'm typing this.Maybe I'm typing this so Jeremy will know that people sre coming to this site.And maybe that people surrport his {and his friends} cause.Depression and insanity are extremly hard to deal with,In some cases it can't be dealt with.Unfourtunatly,That's life.But to Jeremy,I hope you accomplish what ever it is you are reaching for.
Jayson <lonewolfzero@hotmail.com>
Greenville, South Carolina USA - Tuesday, March 13, 2001 at 12:31:04 (EST)

I have been here before so I decided to check out what has been written lately and I found it interesting to read that other people either care or know what it is like to live with a mental illness and how people can put a stigma on people like us all the time. I have been going through a rough time lately and My doctor wanted to put in the hospital again but I promised him if it got really bad and there was no one else around to make sure I was safe I would check myself in...but that is not the point that I am writing...I want everyone to know that we shall survive...even if it takes us all the time in the world, living one day at time and realizing we are not alone and have friends and family that care about us and our mental state of mind...Jeremey is a very lucky person to have friends that care about him and the rest of us to fight a good cause towards mental illnesses and the things that can and do happen to some of us...I would like to tell you guys that what you are doing is helping and educating alot of people not to be afraid or that they are not alone in this tiny but large world...I am now sending my prayers and strength to everyone that is suffering from a mental illness and hope that each of take it one day at time and do what we have to do to make it through this roller coaster ride that we are taking...
need to express my opinion <unknown>
unknown, Alberta Canada - Monday, March 12, 2001 at 23:16:08 (EST)

My husband has been fighting his depression for 4 years now. At first it was something we could handle. We did the extra vitamins, prayed, etc. After about a year of this I didn't like the change in him. He started to become angry at everything and anything. When he did see the doctors at last, and they put him on medications things started to look up again. Little did we know that it was a temp. fix. Nobody told us this was going to happen. 8 months ago the doctors changed his meds again, everyone was all happy, everyone but me. I knew from past experiances what was down the road again. Sure enough, he fell again. Harder than ever. He has tried to kill himself several differant ways, each time failing (thank goodness). The doctors weren't helping. They asked my husband if he needed to be put in the hospital, and he always said no, and the doctors would listen! Wouldn't put him in, said it would be better if he went in on his own! When I found a loaded gun in his car I exploided! Screw the doctors, I put him in the hospital. Then to top everything off, the damn hospital released him 2 days later! Once again we were back to where we started. It seemed like nobody wanted to help us. 2 weeks after the first hospital visit, he was "body searched" by his mother. She found another gun on him! This time we put him in a differant hospital that did wonders for him. He is out now, back to work, but, still has the tough days. Thanks to the hospital and the workers/doctors there he is able to get past these days. Even with him out of the hospital, they still help him. For those who have loved ones who are depressed, I just want to say that it is a long hard battle. Stick with them no matter how hard it is. If you have to become a "bitch" and put your foot down with the doctors, do it. DON'T LET THE DEPRESSED PERSON CONTROL THE DOCTOR! (Thats what happened to us)
Karen <jechiasson1@prodigy.net>
USA - Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 22:22:29 (EST)

I view my depression as a simple extension of logic. You can not convince me that the world is without fundamental flaws. I simply can not seem to think of anything else. Civilization is crumbling; going down that road that mankind has always dabbled on, one of selfish indifference and complacency. Come on, the millionaires of the world show us one thing: our society values having money for the sake of having money. We aren't building toward anything high and noble, we are just watching Jerry Springer on the boobtube and laughing at the other deplorable people who are stupid enough to be exploited. 85% of the world's population should not have children, yet they are the ones having the most progeny. Stick a fork in us, we are done. Anyone else feel this way?
Anywhere, USA - Tuesday, March 06, 2001 at 22:01:44 (EST)

Thank god that there are people who understand how I feel,how I have always felt. I have not been diagnosed with anything but now I have some idea what might be wrong with me now. All the rage that I feel others feel to god that is good to know. Thanks your site just being here is a big step for all of us.
Angela <clyons@stny.rr.com>
Richfieldsprings, New York USA - Monday, March 05, 2001 at 09:24:52 (EST)

I have been manic depressive for about 3 years now. And I also have been suicidal. The trigger event for my depression is when my dad had an affair with someone he worked with. My dad seemed like one of those people that wouldn't even think about doing something like that. I moved to Illinois, and there I was ridiculed at school everyday, and I would come home crying every single day. Any school that I went to I was ridiculed every single day because I wasn't "popular" and I was a "freak." I've moved around alot because my dad used to work in the military. When I moved to Illinois things just got much worse for me. Too many bad things went on I don't even want to bother typing them. I had some friends. But only actually about 5 to 6 real true friends. Other problems in my life is this girl Stacie that my older brother thinks he wants to marry someday. But this girl is literally a complete psycho bitch. She has tried to run my brother over with her car. And many other things. My brother has tried to commit suicide before, and he felt that his life was worthless. My dad was manic depressive too. I remember the nights when he was just going crazy, trying to kill himself. My mom was only clinically depressive. My dad and my brother were hospitalized when they tried to commit suicide. With all this commotion going on I really needed someone to relate to, and not depend on a shrink. So I met this one guy, Aaron, and he seemed to be the best thing that ever happened to me. But I was completely wrong. I was so vunerable, I let him manipulate me so much. He wanted sex so much, but he never got it from me. I thought I loved him, but now I know that I didn't and that it was all just lust. I have tried to commit suicide before, and more than once. But I have only been hospitalized once. I have so many scars all over my body. The physical pain that it gives me I enjoy. It's like it takes away the emotional pain that I can't handle. I am trying my hardest to get better, but having this illness, concludes that there is no automatic cure. I have moved again into Missouri. I just started highschool, and I'm pulling my grades up, and am a straight "A" student...for now. I seem to be getting worse. My friend had got raped a couple of months ago. And now the boyfriend I have now, has a worse life than me. He has been abused physically and verbally. I don't want to get in detail with him, because it is his life, and it is not something you just go along and talk about. But he doesn't want any help, except from me and his friends. My world seems to be crumbling so hard again. And now I am scared of happiness because I know that happiness at some time has to end. There are many other things to say...but there aren't always the words and/or time to say them. So I am just going to end this here. If anyone needs someone to talk to, or they have any advice. You can email me any time.
Amber <Amber@voyant.net>
St. Louis, Missouri USA - Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 20:03:12 (EST)

I'm not manic depressant. My best friend is. He never talks about his feelings because he believes there is no point. I try to get him to and then he just gets upset and sometimes angrey. I want him to understand I just want to help him. How does me talking about my friend help you?! Well I just want you to know that someone is always there for you. Let your self go. Trust people. Talking about this kind of stuff helps. It helps people understand you. Taking your life is stupid and selfish. How do I know?! Because I've been suiciadal before and depressed. 17.2 Million people in america are manic deppresant. People go through the same things. All I can say is if someone cares enough about you to talk ask you about how you REALLY are take the time even if it hurts and tell them!! I have been researching the bipolar disorder since I found out about my friend and it has helped me understand him alot. This sight has helped me understand more thanks to all who are working on this site dilegently!!
Joy Walter <sweeethang03@aol.com>
Grand Junction , Colorado USA - Monday, February 26, 2001 at 18:48:04 (EST)

I am 16 years old. Throughout my life, I have been lost in thought. For as long as I can remember, I have lied awake in my bed, just thinking. Sometimes, after hours of deep thought, I would feel as if a great power, the power of life and of God, was surging through my body. Sometimes it felt as if I was floating. Most of the time, however, the thoughts scared and confused me. I felt isolated and alone in my abstract, chaotic mind. My depression built up more and more until it took over. In my years of deep depression, I felt more alone than ever. I hated myself. When my anger became so great that I could no longer keep it focused on myself and it spread to others as well, I sought help. I got put on antidepressants. During this time, I also began experimenting with other drugs. I was so excited about feeling happy that I couldn't get enough of it, I wanted to feel more and more happy. Just as I had hit rock bottom in the past, I hit rock top. I got hospitalized for my manic and psychotic behavior. I have learned quite a bit from my experiences. You do not spend your entire life thinking and not come to a few revelations. However, I want to learn not only from myself, but from others. The people whom I feel I can learn the most from are those deemed as being mentally ill. People like Jeremy. If anyone would email me and talk with me not just about their mental illness, but about their thoughts, their feelings, what goes on inside their head, and what things they have learned in their lives, I would greatly appreciate it. I love listening.
Katie <Oiwerie@azstarnet.com>
Tucson, Arizona USA - Monday, February 26, 2001 at 00:17:40 (EST)

I want to die. I want to kill myself.I am manic depressant, and now it's gotten so much worse. I thought I was getting better, but no, it's only gotten a lot worse. I mean the people that I'm supposed to be trusting are just messing with my head, and I'm so very upset rite now. I don't know what to do. It would be so much easier for me to just end it now. I want to die. I want to kill myself.
Lilly <lovelylady345@hotmail.com>
NJ, Trenton USA - Wednesday, February 14, 2001 at 18:50:28 (EST)

I have a friend who is the hospital now due to bipolar disorder. I used to have seasonal affective disorder which I cured 5 years ago through diet and supplements. I went on a gluten-free and dairy-free diet and took B vitamins and flaxseed oil. I believe that bipolar disorder is very similar to seasonal affective disorder and may benefit from similar treatment. In May, 1999, a research study was done using cod liver oil with patients with bipolar disorder and showed very favorable results. You can check it out on the web. Also, the Pfeiffer treatment center in Illinois works with bipolar disorder using diet and supplements. You can find them on the web also. The studies are out there which show a connection with diet to many of the depressive disorders. They are not well publisized because there is very little money to be made by treating people with food. FOOD is important. In the last 100 years due to the way we eat, processed dead food, we have eliminated over 80% of essential fatty acids from our diet. These fats (found in fresh vegetables, seeds, nuts, fish) are essential for repair and rebuilding our bodies. They are found in flaxseed oil and cod liver oil. Diet and supplements have no adverse side-effects. Read, study, learn, eat and be healthy.
USA - Sunday, February 11, 2001 at 17:05:34 (EST)

I think it is a shame that Jeremy has ended up in a mental institution. In this day and age it is surprising that more cannot be done on the outside.
dee <dee@crumpy.fsbusiness.co.uk>
REDDITCH, ENGLAND UNITED KINGDOM - Thursday, February 08, 2001 at 16:26:24 (EST)

Hi my name is bradster,the reason why Im so loney & depressed all the time is the fact that life has been full of critism hate denial fear health problems and doing things I should not even be doing.Im 27 & all of this has been going on for many many years that it just tears me appart that my reaction each day Im angry so frusturated it hurts like crazy.I used to be happy all the time but it just became a distant memeory.I need someone such a woman at my age who could relate to me for my hard times.It is hard to find that certain someone who you can trust 24-7,it has not happened to me as long as I can remember.To live each day as corrupted as I become I start becoming less & less wanted whereever I go or whoever I see,its been that way too long & I certainly don't want health problems or die at a young age.Im very emotional & very unbalanced & I tried to see other people to help me out I think I just nedd a long teerm relationship with a woman who can bring me back to life to happiness.I need it real bad,I relly don't want to put my health at risk. It is hard enough to tell my most personal problems to people who I hardly know,there is one time I went to a club & I bared my flesh in front of 50+ women but even that did not stop my complications,it never chaged & Im dsperate for a woman now foever.
Bradster <bztaxone@juno.com>
Littleton Colorado, U . S . A . USA - Tuesday, February 06, 2001 at 00:38:52 (EST)

i feel what your doing is absouletly fanomiinal.keep up the great work.
lori <lgrts>
pembroke pines, fl USA - Saturday, February 03, 2001 at 22:01:32 (EST)

After being diagnosed with bi-polar, generalized anxiety disorder, seasonal affect dissorder, fibromyalgia, and chronic ebstein barr virus....well, what can I say! After years of battling with Western medicines, I went off all of them. I feel wonderful. There are many alternatives available, trust me. I am a well versed in the fields of herbalism, homeopathy, aromatherapy, reflexology, and meditation; the alternatives that work best for me. I am in the process of writing a book entitle "Wisdom in a Nut Shell". Look for it! Write me if you would like to know more about my amazing discoveries. Love and respect to all of you!!!
lori <onacoffeebreak@yahoo.com>
Scottsdale, Arizona USA - Saturday, February 03, 2001 at 12:50:12 (EST)

STOCKTON CALIFORINIA, USA USA - Thursday, February 01, 2001 at 17:55:18 (EST)

I didn't think I would be doing this --I intended only to read, not to write. I, too, have been depressed most of my life, attempting suicide, keeping it secret for fear I would be labeled or institutionalized. I would be locked in a hospital right now if my husband hadn't convinced the doctor that he could keep me *safe* at home. Nobody understands how those who are depressed embrace death and long for it, how uncomforatble our spirits are here on earth in the body we are in! At least we don't fear death like so many others! I've come to believe that death is really a gift from God, and He just won't let it happen until He's done with us here on earth. The problem is that now we have to discover and DO whatever it is that God requires of us on this earth in order to die. To many, that will sound morbid , but isn't that what Christianity tells us? To finally go to Heaven, we have to believe and do as He wants us to. I'm depressed because I want to skip the earth part and go right to Heaven! It seems that by continuing to concentrate on my desire to die only prolongs and miserates my time here on earth, so I have to concentrate on what I need to do while I'm here. It's a constant struggle, but what choice do we have? We're here, and apparently not going anywhere else for a while.
Liz <lizmartin007@aol.com>
Georgetown, KY USA - Thursday, February 01, 2001 at 07:24:22 (EST)

I am glad to see a way for "us" to talk. I see so many of you just like myself on this site, plus mothers like my own. I am 28 years old, bi-polar, panic attacks, and suicidal since the age of 13. I cannot find help in my area. The doctors have been rude,discontinued seeing me, and abruptly taken away my medications, which are necessary for me to even leave the house. I have been through cognitive behavioral therapy, hypnotherapy, and a few other "off the wall", ineffective therapies. I have also been on several medications to treat the anx and dep but nothing really works. In fact, the meds have made me worse at times, plus now I am reliant on anti-anxiety pills such as Xanax, Klonopin, and Loraprazom. I do anything I can to help myself be happy but it is like I have demons inside and they defeat me every day. I am still seeking help desperately. The thing about people that I have come across, is that they do not acknowlege this as a real illness. Nor do they acknowlege that it is physiological, and not just in the head. I am sorry to see so many people going through this, I would not wish this state on my worst enemy. I will keep checking in this site to listen, and to talk. Thank you. Sorry so long. Too much to say-
Detroit, MI USA - Tuesday, January 30, 2001 at 16:42:04 (EST)

I just turned 18, 2 days ago. My mother started cutting me off, not knowing what was wrong with me, even with me trying to explain. I was usually a good kid, but my mom is really strict, and she didn't realize I always had a need to try and feel happy instead of thinking about the past. I don't have a relationship with my father, he disowned me over his addiction to women. My mother has never been able to catch a glimpse of my teenage life, and doesnt know how much I've been hurt, and confused. She's always been in denial with thinking anything would ever be wrong with me before. Therapy after my attempt of suicide when I was 14 didn't work. Most of the time I am happy, but sometimes I go deep into depression. One minute I can be hyper, the next, angry or sad. Is that bi polar or what? I don't know. I am stuck here. I don't know what to do. She just took what I thought was my only key to freedom. my car. She didn't want me going out on my 18th birthday, so i went out anyway. She sold the car the next day. I can't see anybody I care about now. I am stuck in the middle of the boonies. I am still farely new to the area with only one real friend here with a busy life. I used to have plans for college, but I can't even seem to write an essay for anything, because all of my thoughts aren't together. As the days go by, so do the deadlines. My grades have dropped, and I haven't cared. I don't have anyone here for me to be able to help me 24-7 because they are busy enough. My mother doesn't care anymore. She was angry and didn't realize the other day, she almost practically said that she wouldn't care what I chose to do, including destroy myself. I keep thinking about the eastiest way of getting away. I am 18 now. It's so much easier to get lost. I feel fine now, but I know later I will go back to my low, and the only thing that stops me is the fact that something can go wrong.
michele <myownlyric@aol.com>
upper marlboro, maryland USA - Sunday, January 28, 2001 at 18:10:07 (EST)

I have a young teenager with Bipolar Disorder,,,her life has been very hard,,,due to other peoples misunderstanding of her illness,,,she's so bright and gifted,,,and everyday I see something in her that makes me proud to be her mom,,,she truely cares about all people,,,Jeremy,,,you are to be commended for starting this site,,,it will give people insight into how many people are affected by Bipolar Disorder,,,and to keep it in the light so that research will not stop,,,I pray that someday they will find the right medications to help people with this illness. My thoughts and prayers are with you...
Maureen <mymustardseed@hotmail.com>
St. Marys, Georgia USA - Saturday, January 27, 2001 at 08:00:10 (EST)

To Jeremy and friends- thank you for taking a fresh approach to a disease that has been put on the back shelf- I wouldv'e done it myself as I have bipolar and I'm glad someone did. It shows there are people involved with this illness taking positive action and let Jeremy know his efforts are changing the world for the better. As for bipolar illness, I am a fighter, not a victim and hope to one day publish a novel on the constant battle that we, as individuals with a disease, will one day be free of and achieve undying greatness. And to Jeremy, I'll kick yer ass in chess.
Julie Kate <nyland6742@netzero.net>
Boston, Ma USA - Sunday, January 21, 2001 at 16:20:51 (EST)

there is no such thing as craziness, as a matter of fact (as we all find out on the terrain) theres no such thing as anything.
jon dough <mdma_42@hotmail.com>
san antonio, tx USA - Thursday, January 18, 2001 at 21:40:41 (EST)

I have a depression problem. My parents havent seemed to realize it yet. Or maybe they dont want to.I really want to get help.. but its like no one is here for me. I havent found a solution yet. And I do have a boyfriend who loves me. ??????
Jackie Inman <Jackarooi1@aol.com>
Burleson, TX USA - Monday, January 15, 2001 at 17:02:16 (EST)

im scard. one of my good friends was put into a mental home about 4 weeks ago. she just got back yesterday and is very different. i dont know how. but im very affraid im gonna be sent there.
megs < >
savannah , ga USA - Monday, January 15, 2001 at 11:40:59 (EST)

LORRI <lhessen@charter.net>
FOND DU LAC, WI USA - Sunday, January 07, 2001 at 01:33:38 (EST)

Well im not sure if i have Manic-Depressent or not. Im only 14 but i have most of the signs and i have attempted suicide but as you see i didnt succeed and no one knew. Ive talked to my mother but she said its normal to feel like this at this age which confuses me more then i already am, so to drop the subject i just agreed with her but when i get ticked off i cant control my brain and i do get very close to doing it and i know most of u must think if i was serious i would of done it but i know i have family that cares about me and i dont want to hurt them at the same time i do want to live but its hard when u dont know if u can really be strong enough to actually get through any rough time with out sucide crossing my mind. I just want to know what i have or if i have anything and if its just a normal phase for my age. I dont want to tell anyone b/c i already attempted to tell my family but they just thought it was normal for my age and told me to stop scaring them im also away from my mother and sister and im living with my arogant over spoken cathiloc father who confuses me more then i should be. My mom and sister are in NY and im in ohio ive been here since september and my mother is planning to take me back once she moves to a nicer place that was the whole arrangment but i cant wait any longer b/c these ppl here are close minded so i close them off by being distant and a bitch...its seems to be working and i feel no guilt b/c i see how they treat other ppl, but that isnt really the point. If anyone knows if this is serious or normal please e-mail me so i can have a clue of whats happend to me, last year i was just depressed and now its like a mix and i have big mood swings and im just plain confused so please drop a note if u have any idea whats wrong with me, thanx
Laura <MysticChick86@hotmail.com>
Yonkers, NY USA - Saturday, January 06, 2001 at 18:49:31 (EST)



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